best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just found puke in my bra..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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