Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
