hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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