I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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