hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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