shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
