dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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