Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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