yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
