Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he wants to bone in the snuggie
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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