Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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