I have demons in me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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