YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
