No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
