They should really pass out barf bags in church
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
