Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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