can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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