I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
