i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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