she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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