I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she peed on how many people?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
