Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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