Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This is classic penis vs brain.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
