No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
