I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
