I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
