did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
