So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
