so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
