UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
