yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i've created a new STD.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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