3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
