For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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