He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
