brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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