the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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