It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
