Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
