I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
