Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
