apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
