in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
