I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
