You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
