oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
