mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
