so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
