you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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