its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He shit in the fireplace
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
