glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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